Updating post from Reddit.
How have other LILs approached their lodger coming to the acceptance that they don't have any money?
The realisation seems to have dawned on mine that there aren't any well-paid jobs going in any of the interesting topics she's trained in (college courses), but also she doesn't like any of the menial jobs that she's tried in their place. We have a bit of an attitude mismatch on this - when I was younger, I did shit jobs (bin man, removals, window cleaning, all sorts) for a long time before I found my path. She's only interested in doing her ideal job.
The trouble is, I don't think any of these ideal jobs are going to be forthcoming out of the blue to somebody with no experience. She's signed on with the job centre and is of the view that they're going to provide her with lots of training to help her find more of her ideal jobs. I'm less optimistic that it works that way.
JSA won't pay enough to cover the rent, let alone everything else. The rent is £500 a month and JSA is £92 a week.
Part of me is minded to say this isn't a problem until it's a problem. If she's paying, who cares what the circumstances are. But firstly, I don't want to wait until the problem happens to deal with it - because then I become a charity until she finds somewhere else to go. And I know I will be pushed into that corner, she's a nice person who's been absolutely no trouble, and I won't be mean enough to chuck her out with nowhere to go. And secondly, I don't want my finances, which are stable, to push her into a place where she's picking between shelter and food. If she sacrifices everything else to make the rent work, that's not really living at all. I feel some level of social responsibility towards a person who lives in my home.
How would others deal with this? Would you set a date by which to get an income sorted? Would you wait until it becomes an issue? Would you avoid a sense of social responsibility for fear of them taking advantage? Anything else?
She'll never grow the fuck up when others are enabling her. Don't be a mug!
This is all not your problem.
If you get on and she pays rent: great.
If not, then you end the agreement and it is up to her to figure her life out.
UC will pay her full rent if within LHA.
True, but LHA rates are so low it's laughable.
Rates for my city are £366.10 per month for shared accommodation.
There's 298 rooms for non-students available to rent in my city, on Spareroom, of which 6 are below LHA and one of those involves being a carer for the elderly live in landlord 15 hours pw.
According to the government, LHA rates are meant to be set so that people can afford the bottom 30% of rents for that property size. As the kids say, the math isn't mathing.
Do you have a rental contract with her? Her JSA should only be going towards living costs and a separate benefit should be claimed for rent.
Have you run a benefits calculator?
Benefits aren't really my area, but my understanding is that she should be getting the housing element of universal credit too. This probably won't cover the whole rent, but it's something
https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/
I'm a live in landlord too and I agree this is a tricky situation.
I tend to take the attitude that if the rent is being paid then it's not really any of my business how the lodger is achieving that (so long as it's legal!)
Have you sat her down, big sister style, to talk through how this is all going to pan out? It sounds like she is a little divorced from the realities of life, but I suspect that she is going to need to reach the end of any savings she has before reality dawns. Talking through what her plan A, plan B, plan C, etc is, and making clear that the rent will always need to be paid.
There is a tough love element to this - if she's not living with you then she will be living somewhere with a substantially less understanding landlord, and finding somewhere to live when you're on benefits can be very difficult - so it'll probably be lower quality too. I'm assuming there's no family home she could return to.
The various plans might feature not just looking for different jobs, but looking for her preferred jobs in a different town - especially if you're somewhere small.
If the rent isn't being paid then you are, in effect, financially supporting your lodger - which isn't really a reasonable position to be put in.
If she's receptive then it might be a good idea to teach her how to make her money stretch further - cheap recipes, where to buy cheap food, that sort of thing.
If she's 25 or under, I'll point her towards the King's Trust (previously Prince's Trust) who are fantastic at getting young somewhat directionless young people into work.
Why doesn't she ask for housing benefit?
Can she claim housing benefit as well?
Anyway, not your problem, don't give an inch if she wants to be lazy...